Monday Matinee: Silent Hill (2006)

I've told you all that my daughter is the B Horror Movie Queen.  She has seen them all, including this one.  In addition, my son has played the video game, which actually came BEFORE the movie.  So far, I have managed to avoid it all, until now.

I was given my homework, you see.  We knew we would be attending Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights.  My daughter and I went for the first time last year and IT WAS AWESOME.  I can't even describe how awesome it was.  This year, there has been much researching done in the Nawrot household on the particulars of each haunted house, and one of them is based on this movie.


The premise is pretty convoluted.  I'm not even totally sure I get all of it.  But we have a little girl who was adopted by a young couple.  The girl sleepwalks and has nightmares, and often screams "silent hill" in her sleep.  So her mother decides to take her to a nearby ghost town called Silent Hill to see if she can get to the bottom of things.  As soon as she enters the town, she has an auto accident and is knocked unconscious.  When she awakens, her daughter is gone, and she walks into town to find her.
    

So, I don't know, there are ashes that fill the air and stories of an underground mining explosion that caused the town's ultimate demise.  Not everyone can see these ashes (mother can, father can't) and there is some significance to this fact.  An indication of alternate universes?  There is a religious cult hiding here, and the little girl has ties to this town's evil past.  I'm not even going to dwell on the details, because...whatever.  When the cult came into the picture, it got a little stupid for me.  Sometimes it is just best not to try to OVER-EXPLAIN, because in this case it was a buzz kill.    

The attraction, if that is what you want to call it (I know many of you would NOT!) are the horrifying visuals.  There are creatures (zombies?  not sure) that are hiding and waiting to wreak havoc.  Iconic, horrifying things.  Like these nurses above, or as you can see below, a blinded, contorted dude, or PYRAMID HEAD!  He is a scary scary guy, slinging around a knife/machete thing that has to be six feet long, and has the special skill of ripping the skin off people.  I'm fairly immune to horror, but these ghouls creeped me out.   

From a movie perspective, they brought me down when they tried to be smart.  The crazy visuals didn't jive with the "story", although I'm sure that some 16 year-old out there could explain it all to me.  I personally couldn't reconcile all the information coming at me.  Just be quiet and let me cower under my blankey.  

But as a haunted house?  It had serious potential...the possibilities were endless.  Unfortunately, while the haunted house was good, it didn't take advantage of all the effects.  Pyramid Head wasn't even there!  They made up for it with buxom zombie nurses I guess...

Movie:  3 out of 5 stars

Haunted House Potential:  5 out of 5 stars