Before I Fall - Lauren Oliver

When it comes to sitting down and reading a printed novel, I am generally helpless. There is always a dirty toilet to clean, cat throw-up to remove, a weed to be pulled, blogs to be visited, or homework to be assisted. I leave the bigger books to audio, and stick to the under-300-page-variety for visual reading, or else I would never finish anything.

That is, until I came across Before I Fall. Rhapsody Jill told me I had to read it, so I ordered it from the library like a good girl. When it showed up at my doorstep and I saw that it was 480 pages, I gulped. Oh dear. Big trouble. Except it was no trouble at all, except for the fact that literally nothing else got done until I'd finished it (in three days).

Synopsis: Samantha Kingston thinks she's got it made. She is at the hub of the popular crowd, her boyfriend is the most sought-after guy in the school, and she is beautiful. But after a party, she and her friends are in a terrible car accident, and she dies. Before her soul moves on, however, there are a few things that need tending.

In a manic but touching Groundhog Day-esque story, Samantha is forced to live and re-live the last day of her life. In viewing this day as it occurred originally, there is no other way to describe it but UGLY. Sam and her friends are the mean girls, humiliating the outcasts, bullying anyone that crosses them, stringing along the boys with promises of sex, smoking, drinking, skipping school, flirting with teachers...every parent's nightmare. But as Sam is forced to view her priorities and her friendships over and over again, rubbing her nose in her every self-absorbed act, she begins to see her life from a different perspective. She seeks to understand why she has been chosen for this fate. Is she being punished in some sort of twisted purgatory? Is she meant to fix something before she moves on? After a few rounds of staring at the cold, hard truth of her life, and attempting to correct the error of her ways, she wonders if she is even fixable.

My thoughts: I think it is pretty safe to say I will never forget this book. Despite it's designation in the young adult genre, it has the potential to change the lives of anyone who reads it by asking some very adult questions. Are we living right? If we had to relive this day, would we be happy with the choices we made? What are people going to say about us after we have passed?There are also the questions that are complex enough to drive us mad and nearly impossible to answer (but provoking to think about). What are the implications of a stolen parking spot? A snarky comment? A practical joke? Leaving five minutes late for an appointment? It brings to mind the theory of the butterfly effect, and it is sobering. In Lauren Oliver's capable hands, it was the equivalent of being hit in the face with a frying pan.

Not everything in this book is explainable and rational. I won't list them for you, but if you read the book, I'm sure these same quandaries will probably hit you the same as it did me. My advice would be to let it go. Do not come into this reading experience with your literal hat on. Just come with your tissues.

I struggled with the decision to let my daughter read this book. Dare I allow her to read about girls behaving badly? Ultimately, I gave her permission because there are some critical lessons in the story that are teachable moments. There is reference to sex, there is drug and alcohol use, there is language, basically every mistake a teenage girl can make. And the repercussions are very clear. I wish I would have had the benefit of reading this when I was a teenager.

5 out of 5 stars