A few squirm-worthy movies for your Halloween

Every year the movie buffs issue their usual scream-fest lists for your Halloween entertainment pleasure, featuring a multitude of Halloweens, Omens, Friday the 13ths, Rings, Exorcists, etc.  My sister, the resident buff in our family, directed me to a list that was a bit different - horror films off the beaten path.  I loved this quirky collection, and was proud to admit that I'd seen 15 of the 25 mentioned. 

I was raised on scary flicks, and from my teen years on, have enjoyed about every sub-genre of horror there is...slasher, psychological, camp, Italian, you name it.  I am not easily scared or offended.  But when I browsed through the above-mentioned list, I realized there were a few movies that needed to be addressed.  MOVIES THAT LEFT ME REPULSED.  Whether you are into that kind of thing, or you just prefer to be warned, please behold.  (Note that general plot points may be spoiled, but in no way will lessen the impact - trust me).     

The Human Centipede - Creepy modern Dr. Frankenstein has this great idea to take three humans and splice them together surgically, mouth to butt, forming one gastrointestinal tract.  Every awful visual you can imagine and more is laid out before you, from the abduction of the three victims, the surgery, and the consequences of the first guy (the one with the mouth) eating and digesting food. 

This film is seriously demented.  Although critics pretty much universally HATED this movie for its gratuitous debasement, according to EW it has become a cult favorite.  (Good Lord, what does this say about our society?) So much that they have made a Human Centipede 2, where there are twelve folks involved in the experiment.  As my sister sagely said, it is unnecessary to see the second movie - we get it.   

Antichrist - Whatever you might expect from famed director Lars von Trier or actor Willem Dafoe, I would bet it isn't this.  After losing their toddler son in a tragic accident (which we witness in a stomach-turning, slow motion sequence that seemed to last for at least fifteen or twenty minutes), they retreat to a remote cabin for some unorthodox psycho-therapy to heal their hearts and their marriage.  What happens instead is their descent into madness through self-mutilation and self-loathing. 

There were scenes in this film that caused me physical pain, and by the end, I was good and angry.  I felt that this was nothing but a cheap ploy for shock value, dressed up as an artsy indie.  Although many others were horrified by this movie, many lauded it as brilliant.  I don't know, you be the judge.  Just prepare yourself when the scissors come out.     

Drag Me To Hell -  This movie is actually a Nawrot favorite, owned and oft-viewed by the kids.  Unlike the previous two movies, there is no poo-eating or self-mutilation.  In fact this one is rated PG-13, but is full of everything you would want in a horror flick.

When a young, attractive loan officer denies a nasty old woman (named Ganush) an extension on her mortgage, thus evicting her from her home, Ganush places a curse on her. 

There are jumps, spewing embalming fluid, projectile blood, maggots, animal sacrifices, all a total gross-fest.  As many times as I've seen this thing, I never fail to turn my head and go "urrrrgh!".  The cool thing about the movie, directed by Sam Raimi, is that it defies some standard conventions.  Creepy things happen during the day.  The evil creature is a little old lady.  And it doesn't end happily.  But you can have fun with it.  Just give your stomach a chance to settle before you watch it.  



These are not your mother's horror films, so be prepared.  Perhaps I might even double-dog dare you to watch them, just so we can be repulsed together.  Don't say I didn't warn you though.

(Have a Happy Halloween!)