Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday Salon: Thirteen Reasons Why...







My week in list form:


1. Two hour mammogram. All is well, albeit flatter.

2. Credit card fraud. Must deal with repercussions.

3. Heathrow Literary Society meeting on Appointment in Samarra. Good discussion.

4. Daughter gets period and informs me she "can't do this anymore". I inform her she will do it for another fifty years.

5. Daughter misses two days of school because of said period.

6. Daughter turns 13. I cry.

7. School-wide field day. I get middle school volleyball duty, and have fun watching hormones in action.

8. Son is accused of calling a female classmate "Chewbacca" and is summoned to Principal's office. Threatened expulsion. I am called. Case of mistaken identity. Crisis averted.

9. Desktop computer infected with 24 viruses. Internet denied. Have to input five audiobooks into iTunes library manually before sending in computer to Zen- Master-Dude-Most-Awesome-Will-Marry-Him-If-Something-Happens-To-Robert computer guy at my husband's work for fixing. Priorities.

10. Agree to take five 13-year-olds to Disney for daughter's birthday. My husband wonders if I have truly lost my sense. I bring a book and an audio.

11. Upon awaking on Disney day, daughter claims to have bursting appendix, and demands a trip to hospital. I tell her to go to bathroom and get dressed, she will feel better.

12. After 14 hours at Disney, girls are still up in the middle of the night playing Foosball, eating Red Velvet ice cream cake, and screaming at ghost in our attic. Appendix seems to be fine.

13. Annual Mardi Gras party involving crawfish boil and hurricanes. (My description of the men, once a fresh pot of crawfish is dumped on table: Like a pride of lions, or maybe hyenas, hunched over a particularly tasty wildebeest.) A nice way to end the week.







































28 comments:

farmlanebooks said...

The world of teenagers is very different to life with little ones - thanks for the insight into life with a teen! Wish her a happy birthday from me.

Those crawfish look amazing - we don't have anything like that here. I love the way it is all just poured onto a table. Looks like a great way to eat food. :-)

bermudaonion said...

Oh my gosh, what a week! I'm glad the mammogram turned out well and hope the credit card stuff does too. I hope your daughter doesn't have her period until she's 63! And, what's the big deal about calling a girl "Chewbacca?" That's pretty tame these days.

rhapsodyinbooks said...

Holy cow, what a week! And yet you get all that reading done - just amazing!

Teacher/Learner said...

Wowee, what a week! Ah, teenage girls--like a cross between a sitcom and a soap opera :D I hope your credit card issues get resolved. And I agree with Kathy--that's a pretty tame behaviour to threaten expulsion for. I find some people way too oversensitive about minor issues in schools & on the flipside, some don't even blink at the most serious offenses.

Frances said...

Oh the drama of life with a teenage girl! We'll survive albeit with flatter boobs, less hair and hopefully our senses of humor. :)

Trisha said...

That was freaking hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

I am glad the appendix healed itself. And I hope the bubbies reinflate for you.

Catherine Ensley said...

Hilarious! One needs a sense of humor when one's daughters become teenagers. Oh, but you were so mean. The periods won't last another fifty years. Forty, for sure. But not fifty. ;)

Kathleen said...

As long as you can keep your sense of humor about all of it you will survive! All I can say is thank the good Lord I didn't have a girl! I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you.

heidenkind said...

Yikes! Sounds like a stressful week. Here's hoping next week will be more relaxing for you. :)

Jenny said...

Wow what a week!! Loved your list.

When I was little, my 3-years younger sister "told on me" to my mom for telling her that when you get your period it lasts for days at a time and happens every month... she thought I was just being mean, LOL!!

Meghan said...

What a week! Your post has had me laughing, though. Your poor daughter - I'm sure I said the same thing to my mom when my period started and here I am thirteen years later!

Carrie K. said...

Oh my gosh - I know I shouldn't laugh, but you write about all so wittily! Welcome to the world of teenage girls. It's not all bad, I promise!

ds said...

Priceless! Disney World is nothing compared to Hormone World, but you know you'll both survive (it's possible)...
Awesome crawfish boil--they do look like hyenas.
Hope the credit card stuff is resolved well and quickly.
As always, your week leaves me reeling. Hope this one is easier!

Swapna said...

What a week! Love the list style, very funny (except for the credit card bit.)

caite said...

credit card fraud..upsetting
5 13-year-olds at Disney..madness.

Peppermint Ph.D. said...

Hilarious!! When my oldest started her period, she only thought she would have it once a year instead of once a month...she was absolutely mortified when I corrected her. She's managed to survive to almost 18...we'll see how it goes from here on out :)

You are one brave mama for taking a group to Disney...I'm so impressed.

We are all about some crawfish boils in Mississippi...that's fine dining for us :) Just your fingers and cold beer!! Yum!

Melissa said...

Love, love this!! I'm love your sense of humor through credit cards trouble, flat boobs and teenage hormones. But I have to admit, the teenage girl stuff scares me the most!

Molly said...

love...Love...LOVE this post!

I have no idea which number to comment on first so I will just say...thanks so much for putting a smile on my face :)

I hope you great upcoming week, Sandy!

Alyce said...

Wow! That is one crazy week! Ugh - the call to the principal's office is just the worst, isn't it? My kindergartener almost got in serious trouble this year for saying something, and thankfully they used it as a teaching moment instead of expelling him. I'm so glad things worked out well for your son too.

Jenners said...

Love the nod to the book title in your post title ... though not what it might mean!

Jeez ... what a week. I think you officially have a teenager now! I'm with her on the period though ... I wish it was something you could opt out of.

Zibilee said...

Oh my! You have had quite an interesting week over there. I am glad your mammogram went well, and I hope that the credit card business gets handled in short order. I think your daughter and mine are in some sort of competition these days. She texted me last night while I was at a wedding that she took a sip of water and doubled over screaming in pain. What!?! I don't even know what that meant, but today, all is well. It's totally crazy.

Susan said...

That was definitely a jam-packed week, girlfriend! Whew! I'm tired just reading about it.

I got my first period when I was 13, too, and stopped when I was 50, so probably more like 40 years, but it never hurts to inflict a little misery on your teen from time to time. We have to take our little paybacks wherever we can find them. ;-)

I got my mammogram 3 weeks ago and my boobies are still sore. Geez!

Man, I hate dealing with computer crap!

Did the crawfish boil make your lips burn? Cause it's not truly Cajun if it doesn't make your lips burn. :)

Coffee and a Book Chick said...

Is it bad that I sort of giggled at each one? And I agree with Kathy, what's the deal with the "Chewbacca" thing anyway? Glad that it's a case of mistaken identity, but that doesn't seem so awful compared to everything that happens in schools nowadays!

Darlene said...

I'm amazed you can keep your sense of humor through all of that Sandy. Yup your daughter is in for many more years of said period so she might as well get used to it. lol. I'm glad the mammo came out ok and hopefully so does the credit card stuff. Hope you have a good week.

Ti said...

The Girl is 7 and acts like this now. Am I going to survive it?

I love your response to her saying she can't do this anymore. Classic! When it happens with The Girl, I plan to douse her with Advil and Ben & Jerry's and hope for the best.

Iliana said...

Yikes, all of this in one week? Please tell me you treated yourself to some wine or chocolate or both! :)

Here's hoping this week things calm down a bit!

Avid Reader said...

..."can't do this anymore" bahahahaha, welcome to the "joys" of womanhood.

Alice Teh said...

#4 got me laughing and laughing and laughing...