My week in list form:
1. Two hour mammogram. All is well, albeit flatter.
2. Credit card fraud. Must deal with repercussions.
3. Heathrow Literary Society meeting on Appointment in Samarra. Good discussion.
4. Daughter gets period and informs me she "can't do this anymore". I inform her she will do it for another fifty years.
5. Daughter misses two days of school because of said period.
6. Daughter turns 13. I cry.
7. School-wide field day. I get middle school volleyball duty, and have fun watching hormones in action.
8. Son is accused of calling a female classmate "Chewbacca" and is summoned to Principal's office. Threatened expulsion. I am called. Case of mistaken identity. Crisis averted.
9. Desktop computer infected with 24 viruses. Internet denied. Have to input five audiobooks into iTunes library manually before sending in computer to Zen- Master-Dude-Most-Awesome-Will-Marry-Him-If-Something-Happens-To-Robert computer guy at my husband's work for fixing. Priorities.
10. Agree to take five 13-year-olds to Disney for daughter's birthday. My husband wonders if I have truly lost my sense. I bring a book and an audio.
11. Upon awaking on Disney day, daughter claims to have bursting appendix, and demands a trip to hospital. I tell her to go to bathroom and get dressed, she will feel better.
12. After 14 hours at Disney, girls are still up in the middle of the night playing Foosball, eating Red Velvet ice cream cake, and screaming at ghost in our attic. Appendix seems to be fine.
13. Annual Mardi Gras party involving crawfish boil and hurricanes. (My description of the men, once a fresh pot of crawfish is dumped on table: Like a pride of lions, or maybe hyenas, hunched over a particularly tasty wildebeest.) A nice way to end the week.